Charbel Baini's books in different languages takes the poetry of Charbel to the whole world

My God is new to you

 

Cover by Randa Baini


A Dialogue with the Moon King


— What are these sounds?

Are they the murmurs of an exiled planet,

Beyond the borders of the hidden world?

Or are they gasps?

— The beating of drums…

— Who are you? Tell me, stranger?

— A king…

— What do you say?

Ah, king of shadow and flame,

From what spring do you drink?

From where do you feed?

And what people do you rule?

I wandered all day among the ruins,

I found nothing but a mirage twisting

Among virgin dunes,

Upon which the towers and stars lay bare.

—I have neither drink nor food,

Not even servants,

And know, my friend,

Before you depart,

That we worship man…

—And do you love the earth?

— It is my eternal sky…

Ah, from your sky filled with hatred…

There, O King of Unity and Purity,

The laws of the forests prevail.

Come with me, visit it and you will see,

That the Ten Commandments are scattered!

- Whatever the matter may be,

Whatever the matter may be,

The virtues of knowledge in your land 

Erase the sins of disbelief…

**

You are the moon and the stars


-1-

Your lips are two pearls 

From the sea of vanishing

And your slender figure 

Is a garment of virtue

Uttered by a robe of fine cloth

I once longed to attain it

But a tremor seized me. 

-2-

O woman...

O my pure, beautiful dream, 

Be gentle with me.

For my drink is sweet to the taste,

And it is enough for you to sip.

I have tasted rejection from you 

Until it seems I have come to fear love,

Despite my skill.

So, I withdraw, complaining... 

And my longing pulls me...

My yearning pulls me.

-3-

Years have passed of my life

Years like the blazing embers

Sometimes like hatred... 

Sometimes like oppression

I know not my state... 

I know not.

Am I alive...

Am I dead...

And I ask myself: What will become

If the darkness of the nights 

Intensifies one day

Will the pearly stars mock them?

Will the radiant moon of the sky depart?

**

Orphan


Increase my passion, increase it

And stir, like a torrent,

The rock of my stillness

And remove the garment 

That once trembled from my eyes,

For I have been cured of the coldness

And know that I was raised without a mother

And I yearn for the wine of breasts

I lived as an orphan

O daughter of the hills

I never laid my head upon the flesh of arms

I desire warmth in a long night

I hated living alone in the wilderness

My companion the night

With its bitter cold

My companion is the lightning

With the crashing thunder

I exerted myself searching for a girl

And you were the one my efforts met

After the sighs

And the pure tears

Now I feel

What is the taste of existence!

**

Return me to myself


-1-

I searched for you in my books...

I searched for you in my travels,

In my weariness

And I was like one who lost his life

In the eyes of a weeping soul.

I call to you,

I whisper to you,

Like a phantom without lineage.

-2-

I called out your name, 

Which is born in my literature,

My echo reverberated through the universe,

And trampled most of the clouds.

So have mercy on me, 

Return me to myself,

And do not be angered by my wrath,

If one day we complain,

And search for the reason,

For life holds no sweetness for us,

And in our depths 

A star of sorrows has not been set.


The Beirut Telegraph, Issue 8289, October 19, 1970

**

The Sea of the little eyes


-1-

I weep,

And call out: Return to me

For the winds of despair blow upon me

And like a leaf of a tall willow

I sway, I tremble,

I twist...

I draw ever nearer to death.

-2-

Tears fall from my eyes

Drowning me... 

Burying my remains

Throwing me into the depths of the water

And the boat deliberately crashes

Against the rocks of great sighs

And the smaller seas of the eyes

Receive all kinds of storms! 


Beirut Telegraph, Issue 8084, February 16, 1970

** 

I Sing


-1-

I took up my lute...

And began to hum a song

About my love,

Then the birds fluttered

And sang,

And the meadow cried out a million sighs...

-2-

I sing, I sing, to a fertile meadow,

And its eyes rejoiced until tears flowed,

And it kept calling out and pleading:

Give me more poignant songs,

And give me more prayers...


Sabah El-kheir, Beirut newspaper, Issue 185, March 11, 1970

**

I am not a phantom


-1-

Come...

Come...

For the stars have told the story of my love

To the silence of the nights

To the sorrow of the nights

And you are a mirage 

That passes through my mind

And vanishes in my mind...

-2-

You were so cruel to me

You made life groan...

Die...

And be buried in my eyes

Your cruelty...

Oh, if only I had never been anything!

-3-

My tears flowed despite the drought,

And they ran, tracing a wondrous path,

And proving that I have become a stranger,

And that I am a cloud passing through summer,

And raining down sorrowful tears of love.

-4-

I did not long for the long nights,

I am not a phantom,

Desired to vanish,

I am the poet of love,

And passion,

And beauty,

I live for beauty,

And I perish in beauty.

Come...

For my voice has grown hoarse,

And the shouting has grown weary. 

Come,

And I have spent the night 

I long for the whisper of supplication,

murmured each morning:

Come.

**

She laughs joyfully


-1-

She laughs joyfully,

And her pearly lips smile

In delightful merriment

You would think, in her presence, 

That spring itself lives in her mouth!

-2-

And then eyes fly to her,

Alighting on her cheeks,

And kissing the hair of the nights,

Of which it was said: 

It is smelled, not embraced.

-3-

Then hearts call out in silence: Come...

And bleed a pulse that deafens chests,

And sows within them the dreadful clamour,

...And she laughs,

She laughs,

So, you think that the chests are saying:

Let the little one remain...

May deafness remains!

**

My God is new to you


-1-

My pen,

Stop, my pen!

For the story of my life ended long ago.

And I fed it to the mirage.

And I wrote it down in lines,

Erased by the fingers of a wretched time.

-2-

And I no longer remember anything of it 

Except two sentences:

I was born...

But I died before coming.

And like me, everyone dies! 

-3-

Be careful and stop...

And don't touch the white notebook

For every page in it is sad

And every line has withered

And the bitter cold has shrunk them

And the frost has eaten away at them. 

-4-

I came as a phantom...

And no eye saw me,

Or existence itself noticed my presence.

I departed like the clouds and birds

Migrating...

Departing towards the distant...

-5-

I pitched my tents... 

And lived alone

Just me and contemplation in the depths

Of a deep valley

I whisper... 

And worship a deaf lord

Whose tongue is tied

And whose eyes are a dry garden

My God is new to you

Do you not love all that is new? 


Beirut Telegraph Newspaper, Issue 8230, August 10, 1970

**

My Life: The Echo of Misery


-1-

My life...

Like a deep wound

Invaded by blood

And within it, 

The whispers of tragedy are lost...

My life:

Is it not the echo of misery's lament?

-2-

I fly...

Like a dove's chick

That saw the sky low and soared... 

And rejoiced

Until the magic of the sky vanished from its sight.

-3- 

I ate bliss...

But when I was full,

I felt almost empty.

I drank happiness one day,

And I felt I had drunk air.

-4-

I drew palaces of hope,

I built domes and fortresses for them,

And I adorned them with emeralds,

With stars,

With the mercurial moon.

But when I awoke,

I was terrified... 

When I saw the palaces had vanished

And become dust. 

-5-

I was cast out for my poverty,

I was stoned,

I was stabbed repeatedly, 

And I did not complain...

But I said in profound silence:

Is this, my God, what Heaven desires?

**

Tomorrow, I will leave


-1-

I abandoned you?!

How could I abandon spring?

I, the bird,

The singer of love poems that have faded?

-2-

I folded the years,

I killed the greatest hopes,

To escape from you...

Impossible...

For I cannot bear the boredom.

-3-

You say to me in the morning:

Do you love me?

"I love you more,

For my thoughts carry you and fly,

Fly towards eternity."

-4-

And when evening comes,

And the sea swallows the sun of the day,

You say to me,

Your hands playfully pinching my lips:

Do you love me?!

"I love you more,

My desire and my hope."

-5-

.. And the years pass,

And depart.

Carrying a thousand "Do you love me?

I love you more."

And on a night untouched by stars

I wrote on the book of memories:

"Tomorrow,

I will depart."

**

Me and Sorrow


-1-

Me and sorrow

We are companions

We spent our lives

In joy

I made sorrow

Not weep

I made it rejoice like me

I wove happiness when

My field wept

For the jasmine

And the grass said in anger:

Won't you grieve with the field

And you are the branch

And the leaves

You are the flower for the bees?

-2-

So, I said:

Life is but hours

that pass,

that hasten,

that flow

Shall I spend them in bitter, painful weeping...

...bitter,

So, know

that life in the universe

Is ended by the flames of oppression

**

Masters of the centuries


-1- 

I want you to be a rose,

A light fluttering upon the windows of eyes,

Or a breeze that revives the ailing heart.

-2- 

I want you to be a whiff of perfume,

And dreams that caress me through the years,

Or a peace that spreads the dawn,

And banishes the impossible.

-3-

I want you to be a homeland...

We yearn for it, 

And the night drowns in longing

Or an angel

Fluttering like a bird in a beautiful robe.

-4-

No... You will never be

But a vein in my veins

So that we may remain 

The sole point of connection

Between night and sunrise

We, even if centuries pass

We will be the masters of the centuries.


Beirut Telegraph, Issue 8289, October 19, 1970

**

Dust of Sorrow


-1-

I am a stranger...

In the land of loved ones,

I walk,

And I run after loss,

I weave a star like the Magi's star,

Shining,

To guide me to the manger of my love.

-2-

Who am I?

Who am I?

For my silence is terrifying,

 My life is bleak,

And the dust of sorrow eats away at my sandals,

And my socks, clinging in fear,

To the hems of my garment.

-3-

Who am I?


Did I come as dust with the wind

On a night of hateful winter

And it enveloped me

A fierce cold

That stole my mind...

So, I went searching through the fog

And calling out:

O son of dust

Wait...

For in your vast bosom

Are the fragments of my heart.

-4-

...And my cry was lost

The only companion I had

For when I grew weary, 

I sang to myself,

To my own ears,

To the desolation of my path.


Beirut, Sabah El khair magazine, Issue 170, November 17, 1969

**

The Secret of the News


I was asked a thousand times about my secret

I kept it hidden from all of humanity

No... don't call it selfishness

Say: She loved cautiously

And didn't reveal the name of the one 

Who wove the morning

And the moon

A silken shawl

A shawl the colour of flowers

And embroidered it with a small star

And adorned it with the shining moon

Then... Oh, the joy of the stream

He gifted it to me,

Die, oh coquettishness of velvet

I became one with it,

A phantom for a nymph.


Beirut Telegraph, Issue 8289, October 19, 1970

**

Compassionate Conscience


-1-

Take and go away...

I will slap you...

If you come near again,

Like a slave... 

Seeking a morsel from me.

-2-

And I went away,

Hastening my steps to the embrace of alleys

And corners,

Cursing the day, I was born

And I stretched out my hands to the people

So that the weight of death 

Might be lifted from me.

-3-

And I withdrew, like a dark, gloomy night,

Planting eyes with staring and fear,

And I walked bare-handed,

Bound by my own hands,

Above my hopes and thoughts...

And my assumptions.

-4-

O conscience of compassion...

Punished by mute claws

In nights of love and passion.

I remember the day I came to you, 

Bowed down,

Staggering like a curse,

And I said to you: 

I want mercy from you...

And I remember how you cried out loudly:

What's wrong with you? 

What's wrong with you?

You sing... 

Then you beg... 

Then you sing?

-5-

O Compassionate Conscience

Were I not a barren wasteland 

Where worms graze…

Or a moan that wounds the ears,

Forgive me,

For my moaning goes unheard

You would have bowed down in submission…

Submitting to my desire,

And said to me: 

Ask and you shall find

Even the stars that do not enter

The realm of wishes is yours.


Beirut, Sabah Al-Khair, Issue 175, December 22, 1969

**

A Kiss


Give me a kiss

Then stone me

I am no longer content with my defeat

And the moaning

A kiss from you, the nights have stirred

So, grant it to me as mercy

If you have mercy on me

** 

Nothing Sweeter


-1-

Nothing sweeter than cheeks

That smile when perfume touches them...

And melts.

-2-

Nothing sweeter than eyes 

Behind which is a vineyard

That the sun came shining...

And it became fragrant.

-3-

Nothing sweeter than lips

That laugh at the moon at night

Even though the moon has set.

** 

The joyful laughter


.. And you laughed

Ah, that joyful laughter!

In it is a revelation that cannot be hidden

Like light that touched water 

And dried it up

Ah, it intoxicated me

It bewildered me

A laughter in whose very essence 

God was revealed.

**

The Silent String


The flute moans, who hears?

For in the valley, the dawn's rays plead.

O my life...

And the twanging of my still string,

Your weeping is the moaning of the wounded,

Your tears are rain that does not quench thirst.

So be silent... be silent if you wish,

For in silence...

Is the humility of the devout ascetic?


Beirut Telegraph, Issue 8084, February 16, 1970

** 

Dialogue


- Do you lament your fate? 

Do you lament?

For I see in your eyes

A thousand sorrowful demons? 

- I care not for him, 

Whether he comes or goes.

- If he comes...!

How sweet hope is!

- Lost behind the years.

- And sorrow and lamentation 

Invaded your heart.

- ...and lamentation.


Beirut Telegraph, Issue 8084, February 16, 1970

** 

Do you see?


-1-

Do you see...

How the jasmine embraces the meadow 

And the sorrowful fragrance?

-2-

Do you see...

How the smile, 

Despite the lamentation, 

Rises like the full moon 

In the night of longing?

-3-

Why, my love, do you frown?

When the sun's supplication is sweet

Whenever a melodious, 

Resonant laugh rises in the air?

**

Blessed are those in the wombs


-1- 

I stood watching a distant star, 

Like a sun that fears setting, 

And recoils from it, 

Like a small child struck by a snake.

-2- 

I have surpassed my life, 

And my life is but a mirage, 

A world teeming with people 

Who came to it, 

Settled down, 

And slept like the slain. 

-3-

Blessed are those in the wombs

For every unborn child

For their world is the most beautiful world

Protected by God.

And in their world is happiness,

In it is bliss

And things with which I was most content,

Most joyful,

And most carefree.

-4-

I wept, and I weep.

For in the clinking of tears 

There is solace for my heart,

And light for my path,

Shining like a morning star,

Like a full moon,

Like a candle!


Beirut Telegraph, Issue 8260, September 14, 1970

**

I weep


I weep...

And weep

Without ceasing

And I shed tears,

For my tears are a shared emotion

I weep, and weep

For the love of a heart

That wasted my life when it was lost

My cheeks grew pale

And I became crippled

It is difficult for me to take even a single step

I faded away despite the youth nourished

With the spirit of life, to end the loss

My beloved,

My eyes,

I beg you, return to me

In my heart is a moan...

In my chest is anguish

For my life has become an ocean of flames

And I am a ship without a sail

**